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Thursday 23 February 2012

MY MOTORS...

Most people remember their first car with memories both fond and foul.  I have driven back through my memory and compiled a list of the cars i have owned and thought it may be of interest (or not) to provide a description of them and the memory that sticks to each one.  Some of you who know me well will remember them too....Please note that the pictures are not of my cars but are the same colour at least!!

European Car of the Year 1984. The Fiat Uno 45. 1.0 litre 45bhp!
Mine was a 1987 vintage, with all the extras including a four-speed gearbox and manual choke.  It was the only Fiat i ever knew not to rust, and rarely let me down.  From what i do remember the biggest repairs made were an input shaft bearing on the gearbox and the head gasket and considering the abuse i gave it, it did me well.  Of course being in my very late teens/early twenties, i added the obligatory 4inch oval Wasp rear silencer, a pair of 6x9's in the parcel shelf and a Soundlab amp with Pro Plus sub in the boot. As the exhaust was straight through from downpipe to back box, you can imagine the Wasp silencer was anything but a silencer! After a few years i part exchanged it with a work collegue and upgraded to...
Ford Sierra Sapphire 1.8lx  89bhp (Bit more, not much quicker!)
Looked reasonable.  Again it had to be fitted with a Peco 4inch back box.  Again reliable, this time i had a rev counter ooohh! AND electric windows  aaahhh! Quite a heavy car...especially with NO POWER STEERING! How could this have been an option on a car this size? When i traded this in the garage used it as a courtesy car.  I know this because a customer of mine said his car was at said garage for some work to be done and they'd given him "This effing red Sierra Sapphire!" I asked him what the matter was to which he replied "Its gearbox exploded just up the road from the garage!" Fortunately that was their problem now as i had traded it in with them for...

Ford Sierra XR4X4  2.9v6 150bhp (Much better)
Now i was getting somewhere and much quicker! This car was fantastic. It was modified before i had it, so the work was done; Adjustable, lowered suspension, Peco exhaust system, twin k&n air filters. Lovely to drive with the permanent 4 wheel drive. I had a big cheesy grin every time i opened her up because of the noise the filters and the v6 engine made. In fact i grinned all the time i drove this apart from when i visited my home from home, the petrol station. It had air con too but i didn't even acknowledge the switch for that, let alone use it because it returned about 20mpg. Yes 20. Now, the hill coming out of Wellingborough didn't help on my drive home every night as it split into two lanes and well, you have to don't you? But still 20mpg? That's only a couple less than a Bentley Continental GT!  Anyway it was becoming a bit expensive and in a bit of a panic i made a terrible mistake and traded it for a....

Ford Onion, sorry Orion 1.6i (that "i" was an extra 18bhp you know) 108bhp
Mmmm. A huge step down from the Sierra. It was more economical. I was in my early twenties though! I didn't want economy, what was i thinking? AArrgh! It had a trip computer which just reminded me that i was being economical and didn't do much else.  However my relationship with this lasted for just one month.  Not through the cars choice, it was reliable. Not through my choice, it was doing as i expected. My girlfriend, now wife, very kindly offered to take my mates to the airport. Her car decided it wasn't going to play so i very kindly suggested she use mine. All went well until her return journey, during which she was running late and consequently i was going to be late for work, she approached a roundabout and stopped to give way to traffic from the right.  Unfortunately the idiot driver behind her didn't stop and attempted to park a 3 series BMW inside the boot of the Orion.  For some reason it didn't fit and that was that. A write off.  At least i got a good figure from the insurance company for the car and we also got a payout for the injuries which caused my wife to have a stiff one.  Neck.  We shared her Escort for a while until i said enough was enough.  I was a branch manager and as such i wanted a better car.  For the first time and not the last i was going into turbo territory, and it wasn't an oil burning diesel....
Rover 620ti  197bhp
Just under 200bhp this and i knew it. It was the best all round car to drive that i have ever owned. Honda build quality meant it was very smooth to drive. Quick to 60 and up to (according to tests officer) 147mph. When i bought this i made sure i had a good warranty on it as i knew the inevitable would happen.  You see although the engine put out a lot of power it was a Rover design and not one of the Honda engines fitted in the 618, 620 and 623 and as a consequence being a Rover engine by law the head gasket had to fail and it did. Ha Ha Mr Garage man, i have that warranty, so no big bills for me, just your warranty company! Fixed under warranty and all good apart from the drivers window occasionally falling into the door and the fact nothing would fit in the boot, a disease which plagues most saloon cars. I would have kept this for a long time until one day at work a friend and customer of mine rolled up and showed me his new toy.  Little did he know that shortly after, the car would be mine.  Oh yes.  It would be mine.  It was a return to Fords.  This too had forced-induction..
Ford Escort RS Turbo 1.6 132bhp(standard, this one wasn't!)
I explained to my friend that you see in his line of work, an employment agency, he would need to shuttle some people about and well, you need a four door saloon for that, not a small three door hatchback. It was simple, i would give him some crisp notes, four door practicality and an extra 65bhp (when standard heh! heh!) in exchange for a 15 year old Escort...He agreed, and i began to rub my hands and emit a maniacal evil laugh...Mwahaha.ha...hah..uh?  On the day we exchanged (the day before new years eve) it broke. The alternator had failed. Bum. Cue taking the car to every garage on New Years eve, with every alternator listed asking, no begging them to fix it. While i was getting in the neck from my wife and feeling physically sick, wondering what had i done, i was keeping a close eye on the glowing red battery light on the dash, hoping it would last until it was fixed. A very helpful garage called Chaplins http://www.chaplinsmotorservices.co.uk/index.php
worked out which alternator it was, fitted it while we waited and got me out of a big hole. They were paid and thanked and had their shoes licked and..i was grateful you understand.  All done and running well.  It had a few modifications (just about every rst had i think!) Lowered suspension, stainless steel full exhaust system, k and n air filter, oil separator, dump (he! he!) valve, oh and a chipped ecu which raised the turbo boost pressure to 14psi which all in all meant a nice 185bhp.  Compared to the Rover it was an animal. Where the Rover would ease its power in throughout acceleration, the Escort would do nothing except emit a whistling as the turbo spooled up and then at about 3,000 rpm all hell broke loose. You would sort of pull yourself off the seat using the steering wheel (which was about the size of a cd) in an effort to stop the car going left or right but never straight on.  This would happen in first and second gear in the dry and you could include third in the wet. Brilliant! It was much more involving but unreliable. I started to have trouble with the fuel pump.  It became very temperamental, taking it upon itself to decide if i would be allowed to drive my own car. You would turn the key to ignition and wait for the buzz of the fuel pump.  And wait, and wait and...no.  Your'e not going to drive me just yet.  I know where Basil Fawlty was coming from when he thrashed his car in that episode on Farty Towels, sorry, Fawlty Towers.  It came to a head when i drove it to a dentist appointment i had. I parked it up, went to see the dentist and returned to the car.  Immobiliser off, key in, turn to ignition...nothing. Sure it had done it before but this time i wasn't at home on the drive or at work i was in the FAR CORNER of THE TOP FLOOR of THE MULTI-STOREY CAR PARKon top of THE NEWLANDS CENTRE!!!!!!!!! Never mind seeing someone else do it, i had to be towed from the top floor, all the way down the winding ramp and off to the garage.  I was sat in the tow truck as we went down and round and round and down et.c and hid my face using the drivers Hi-Vis jacket so no-one could see me.  It was the most embarrassing moment of my...no, that's Morrison's the other day, another story, another day.  Cosworth fuel pump fitted and all good for quite a while until our first child was on his way. We needed a more practical car and my wife was driving a Metro which i will tell you about soon. The Escort stayed for now and we became a three car family for a short time with the arrival of the car that was supposed to be one of the most reliable in the world...
Toyota Carina E Charisma Plus 1.6 103bhp
Ha! Charisma plus?  More like charisma minus.  Never before has a car failed so badly to match its spec. description. Excellent reliability write-ups guided me towards this purchase as a reliable, large family hatchback that would go on forever and ever.  Well i'll agree the boot was huge.  In fact i think it may have challenged a blue whale in the "How much can you get in in one go" competition. It wallowed everywhere and you slid about in the seats. It was very quiet. You had to check the speedo to tell you were moving as the rev counter went round the numbers and there was a slight murmur from the engine but you didn't seem to get anywhere.  However, this wasn't what many Toyota's were about. As the advert said "The car in front is a Toyota." Not this one. This would be behind most things. No, Toyota's were and so i am led to believe, still are all about reliability.  Tosh. This car had an excellent service history, didn't leak oil or water, or use any of them.  What it did do though, whilst my very pregnant wife was driving herself and her sister (and newborn) on the A6 towards Finedon was decide that it didn't need its water pump to be productive and this promptly seized, caused the car to overheat badly, pouring smoke from the bonnet and in turn blowing the head gasket. Ahh, my old nemesis, whom is rearing his ugly head currently, Mr Head Gasket Failure. Not a small repair on any car and certainly not on a Toyota as a friend can also confirm.  When i had regained consciousness following the quote the garage had told me i explained that i couldn't write those sort of numbers, let alone have anything near them in monetary value, i asked if he had something i could part-exchange it for, forgoing also the costs of the diagnosis work the garage had done.  You wont believe what he suggested and you most certainly wont believe that we took him up on his recommendation...But before that, a small interlude describing the story of my wife's Metro.....
Rover Metro Kensington SE 1.1 60bhp
Bought this to replace a Nissan Micra.  Very comfy for two ONLY. Tiny boot. Quite nippy and economical.  It became surplus to requirements for us so it was advertised in the paper for sale at £300. A couple came to view, had a good look around it, took it for a drive and bought it for £300.  The next day on my way home my wife phoned and said "They've brought the car back.  They want their money back!" Immediately i thought, buyer beware pal.  No comebacks, it was as described in the advert and sold as such.  I asked what the problem was, to which he replied that a mechanic friend of his (funny how everyone knows the most qualified mechanic in the world when they want some money back) and he'd said the back suspension was shot. Now, i had previously had the suspension pumped up but was unaware of further problems.  He said "I want my money back." To which i replied "Sorry pal, its sold as seen, i'm not a trader or garage." I laid it on thick saying that he was telling me i have to give him his money back and leave my heavily pregnant wife to drive a dangerous vehicle et.c! In the end i said that i didn't want to make enemies over £300 so how about i give him £150?  He agreed, saying he knew could see i wasn't FULLY aware of the situation and accepted the money and went on his way.  Leaving me with £150...AND THE CAR! Yes, he left the car as well.  Beat that. I hadn't even had the chance to post the v5 log book to the DVLA so i tore it up and asked them for a replacement! In the end we gave the car to my brother-in-law, who WAS aware of the repairs needed!  Now, back to the replacement for the Toyota...it was a...
..nother Toyota Carina E 1.8 gli 103bhp (again!)
You must think we were mad.  Let down by the most reliable car name in the world, we bought another one.  At least this time the garage had already done the timing belt and water pump, so surely this would be much better.  It even had a slightly bigger engine, which i thought might give it a little more oomph.  No.  It didn't. The 1.8 was a lean burn engine, giving the same power output, with a fraction more torque. It had a better spec and did seem a little tighter to drive and all was well again in the Wooding car department.  Until.  My wife said it seemed to be spluttering a little.  I checked and it was misfiring, running surprisingly smoothly on three cylinders on regular occasions. I changed the ignition leads, the spark plugs (bloody expensive, even where i shop!), the distributor cap and rotor arm, result-no difference.  I changed the fuel filter.  No difference. I took it in to a garage and they said the injectors weren't running consistently, so we changed three injectors all with no result.  This is the part in my motoring life that i learned that Toyota's, Nissans et.c may be reliable (apart from mine) but when they do need fixing they aren't cheap at all.  It had got to the stage where if i replace another injector and we still had the fault would we be pouring money away when it could go to another replacement.  I said out loud one night, what i'd been thinking for some time that what we needed was for it to be written off.  One week later, my wife pulls out of the junction at the end of our street, drives along for about 10 feet when a woman in another car pulls out from her parking space into our passenger door!YYYYYYYEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!! Result. Car written off and reasonable payout accepted with thanks. What were the chances?  During this period the Rs Turbo had been sold as we were very kindly given another car from my mother, which had become surplus and they hadn't sold.  It proved to be the most reliable, indestructible workhorse i have ever owned....
Ovlov (Volvo) 440 1.6 li 83bhp
This car, together with the Uno, Astra and our current Punto proved to me that the most reliable cars are the base spec models with very few extras to go wrong.  It was bought by my step-father as an ex-demonstrator, almost brand new from Volvo Cars London. It was serviced regularly until i had it! It had no power steering (very heavy), no electric windows, no rev counter and even the clock was analogue.  It did have heated seats though as Volvo's are designed to be used in parts that are colder than deep space. I had it from just under 100,000 miles if i remember correctly until 163,000. It had one oil change, a set of leads, plugs, air filter and a couple of exhaust parts during that period. The only oil it did use was because of a small drip that came from the sump. It didn't use water. It just started every time(until its demise), without fail, never missing a beat. When you folded the seats down it could accommodate almost as much as the Carina's. It wasn't the fastest car i owned but it certainly wasn't the slowest.  It developed an intermittent starting fault after years of reliability which i felt was the beginning of the end. Towards the end i had on some occasions reverted to reverse bump starts!  The paint was shot (it was pink) and the rear wheel arches were mostly rust. It was time to move on and i sold it as scrap.  It was quite funny in that i passed it in the other direction on my way home the day it went, it was on the back of a flatbed truck, on its way to its own "Valhalla" to take its place alongside i guess many other Volvo's. I really think i would have another (but with power steering, i'd take my chance on the reliability issue!) As i said, i passed it coming home from work that day. I was in my new car....
Vauxhall Astra Expression 1.6 74bhp
Similar to the Volvo in terms of reliablity.  It had power steering, but still no rev counter of electric windows and was had soggy handling.  It wasn't bad in a straight line and returned reasonable mpg.  I may still have had this had we not been VERY fortunate yet again when my father and step-mother offered us my current car.  I had a choice this time; keep the Astra and sell the Rover, or vice-versa. On paper the Rover was the one to keep. One owner from new (my step-mum) 30 odd thousand on the clock and good service history. I put the Astra up for sale and still have the Rover..for now. On boxing day 2010, the phone rang and a man asked if the car was for sale still. He wanted to come and see it asap.  On Boxing Day. In the middle of a roast dinner with my family. Anyway he came and i went out to see him whilst my family chomped away on roast beef and i stood out there in the snow with him.  The Astra hadn't been used for a couple of weeks and was covered in snow. I didn't expect it to start, but it did, first time. He actually asked me if it had been started already that day!! It was covered in snow! It would have melted you fool!  He liked it and gave me the cash and drove it straight to London.  In the short time i had it i enjoyed it.  Again, nothing special, did what it said on the tin, a good honest motor. I almost forgot.  This was not the first Vauxhall we had purchased.  Following the death of the second Carina we went for something i had always fancied. It wouldn't be very economical, which i had anticipated but it also proved to to be unreliable...
Vauxhall Vectra 2.0 Sri 140  136bhp(140 was a lie)
Never ever again. It was heavy to drive despite having power steering.  It had a computer that told lies about failed bulbs.  Both front windows dropped out of their runners.  It was excessively thirsty, even for a two litre.  It wasn't even that quick.  Its gearbox spat its contents over The Headlands in Kettering without warning.  No whining, juddering, nothing. In fact i've given it to much space just writing this. I would even have another Carina over one of these.  Moving swiftly on and all that's left is the current fleet of two cars on the Wooding driveway... 
 Fiat Punto 1.2 60bhp
Brilliant.  Every bit as reliable as the Volvo and my first car and its spiritual predecessor the Fiat Uno.  The pre-requisite for this car was four doors and enough room to fit Rose's buggy in the boot.  That was it.  Nothing fancy.  We tried Fiesta's-not a big enough boot and Corsa's-ditto, even trying another Volvo, this time a 460-an even uglier saloon version of the 440, but it was cursed with the disease of the saloon.  My wife spotted this and it was on our budgetary limit. We went for it and never looked back. We have clocked   about 30-40,000 in it.  Going fully loaded with a roof box to Weymouth and Burnham-On-Sea, doing 70mph officer all the way. Not a problem.  Starts first time on the button.  Runs on air i reckon, using next to no fuel. It did have a lot of work on the head done before we had it and perhaps that's why its so good.  Daisy has modified the boot slightly, but she is quite happy in the boot. We are just waiting for her to fail as she's been so good for us, the only thing we'd change,or should i say my wife would change, would be to have remote central locking as it is manual.  Again, like the Volvo and the Astra this is probably part of the reason it has been so reliable, because of the absence of too many electric extras.  The engine design is over 20 years old now and is almost identical to the one i had in my Uno. It has the same rocker cover oil leak as well, but she does us proud.  Lastly we have the car that was very kindly given to us by my Dad and step-mum.  It cost us nothing for which we are very grateful. We've put some new discs and pads on and that is all...or is it...
Rover 25 1.4 84bhp
Very solid handling. Pulls well. Very tall gearing, will hit 38mph in first according to handbook. Ice cold air-con, power steering, 'leccy windows et.c  Very good car. Enjoyable to drive, i like it a lot.  It has the lower output 1.4 engine due to a smaller throttle body than the higher output 1.4 but this is barely noticeable on the road i suspect. Recently though it would appear my, and many other Rover owners nemesis may be approaching.  The notorious K-Series head gasket failure.  Not as easy to diagnose on these engines as many other manufacturers because of its reputation many automatically presume head gasket.  Coolant loss and a little mayo in the oil cap.  No overheating though, and no oil in the coolant.  I thought it had stopped using coolant for a week and a half, but only today i checked and it had used a little.  Only a little, but it is using it and the mayo is still there.  I am hoping it is something else like a manifold leak or something, but i do fear for the worst.  It wont be as expensive as the Toyota would have been but nonetheless i could part exchange it, together with the money for the repair for something more practical like an estate for our growing family (and Daisy).  Time will tell and i shall continue to monitor the situation until we have no choice but to decide on which road to take.  I hope you enjoy this blog and can relate to it with your own memories of your cars and the good and bad times you have had with them. My conclusion and recommendation is to buy an old Volvo which has been looked after by its previous owner or buy a base spec Fiat, i don't think you'll have to (F)ix (I)t (A)gain (T)omorrow!

Monday 20 February 2012

WHAT'S NEXT? THE SHIRT OFF MY BACK?



News came to me today that confirms what i had feared for a while now: the government in charge of this country is quite willing to penalise me and many, many more hard-working people and families for having values.  As i understand it, in April of this year any household whose total working income is greater than £26,000 per year (pre tax) will have its tax credits withdrawn.  For my family that equates to around £520 per year.  That's £520 per year we have to find from somewhere.  According to the recent proposed benefits cap, the total limit that may be available to those on benefits is the equivalent of £34,000 pre tax. How is it then that if for example a benefits claimant were to claim up to this figure they would be better off than a working person? It is because this country has lost sight of what is important to its future?  Yes of course the finances must be balanced but the scales of morality must also be balanced.  How is it morally correct that someone can have a choice, if they wish, to be unemployed because they will be better off?  How can it be that society is in such a state that it allows people to make this choice without having guilt about it. It is hard enough bringing up our children these days and trying to guide them morally and academically is getting harder.  What is the incentive for them to go to university, study hard and graduate only to find there are no jobs to suit their qualifications or to pay off their student loans? It is easier for many to play the system and wait for the government to use tax payers money to pay for them to not just survive, but in may cases have more disposable income than that of the tax payers who provide for them have.  I thought recently that i would "play the game" as it were and seek any possible allowances i was entitled to (i mentioned this in an earlier blog).  I found out that i was entitled to a washing allowance for my work uniform.  The good news is this was swiftly processed and i get an allowance of about £12 per year for this.  Better than nothing eh? But of course that was to easy and so with the tax credits changing in April i find that the bottom line is i have applied for something, been awarded it and find myself about £500 per year worse off.  What more do they want from me?  The shirt off my back will be next, probably because they now pay me to wash it!  The government should remember though, I am the average man and my feelings are echoed by many average men...and we make up a major part of the workforce that provides for this country including their jobs....

Wednesday 15 February 2012

FANGS FOR THE MEMORIES....

I recently finished watching every episode of  Buffy: The Vampire Slayer....now clam down and wipe the tears of laughter from your face and let me explain why i did this:  I  have always liked Vampire movies, Lost Boys, Vamp, Fright Night, After Dark, 'Salems Lot, Interview with et.c, enjoyed the novels of  Anne Rice and even dabled a little with the role-playing game Masquerade. When Buffy and the spin off Angel came onto our screens, i enjoyed those too.  All seemed to go quiet then for a few years until the recent explosion of Vampire based series and films.  I have seen all but the most recent Twiglet, sorry Twilight films and thought they were okay but then came the Vampire Diaries.  My goodness what a load of tosh i thought. It is just jumping on the bandwagon again.  True Blood is much better, leaning a lot more towards the dark side of vampirism, fantastically enhanced by its location in the deep south, which is where the Anne Rice novels are also set and no doubt help create the atmosphere. The Blade films were fantastic, this time the soundtrack doing a brilliant job to aid the film, but also guiding the genre into the mainstream with its techno soundtrack.  Perhaps this is part of the genres undoing.  The market is now flooded more than ever with vampire based films or tv shows.  The recent remake of Fright Night is the latest example and another film "Abraham Lincoln-Vampire Hunter" is just around the corner.  I fear we may be entering a period like the late seventies/early eighties with sci-fi movies being churned out with more poor ones than epics.  Anyway, the chance presented itself to re-watch the Buffy saga, and the Angel one (but that has been put back!)and so i watched them and i will say this: It is funnier than the downbeat and somber feel of  Vampire Diaries and it is equal to the action of Twiglet.  Only one season was a bit slow and veered off (the one with the army) and the storylines were interesting for the majority.  Yes it had its sloppy moments, see Angel and towards the end Spike, but it also addressed many of the problems the human condition presents in life.  There were several moments in it which reminded me of recent effects used in more recent films such as the Matrix and overall i think if you watch it again you would enjoy it more this time than when you first watched it.  It was good then and it is better than the current crop of recent vampire efforts.  The film and t.v producers need to slow down with this genre or else the blood will become to thin and weak. My message to them would be this: "Hold back and wait until something really good is ready to be made." B positive...couldn't resist that one.

FRIGHT NIGHT.....

The stars of the production of the re-make of Fright Night are Jo Edna Boldin and Allison Jones.  Who?  They are the people who were in charge of casting and consequently were responsible for enabling Colin Farrell (lots of films all very good) and Anton Yelchin (Chekov in the recent Star Trek re-boot and Kyle Reese in Terminator:Salvation), to help combat, in my eyes, the handicap of being a re-make.  Together with Toni Collette who, like many others, i first saw in the excellent Muriel's Wedding, they do a good job to modernise what i think is one of the best 80's horrors.  Unfortunately whenever i watch a re-make i naturally compare it to the original. I say unfortunately because it seems that most re-makes seem to be based on films which the originals are my favourites, this one included.  There are several gaping holes which could have been smoothed over (no one seems particularly bothered that an increasing number of students are missing from the school) and a slightly more in depth explanation of why many of the residents of the small town have blacked out windows( a large contingent of the towns workforce work night-shifts).  It has a few good "jumpy" moments, preceded of course by the usual absence of music and the effects are very good.  David Tennant is good also as Peter Vincent the self proclaimed vampire killer and Vegas magician ( and i thought Russell Brand look-a-like)who is also the character with the "Bad guys did something to a relation" card.  I did enjoy it, but wouldn't have gone to the cinema for it. To be honest , if there wasn't the current vampire based movie/tv show bandwagon rolling along at full pelt, i don't think this film would have been made.  If you're unsure what to watch when you're perusing the choices in Blockbusters or your local dvd rental emporium, then try this. You could do worse but if you enjoyed the original don't expect an improvement. It really just is a pure up-date and nothing more. It filled an evening for me and fueled the fire in me that is an increasing annoyance of re-boots...with certain exceptions.......enjoy.


Wednesday 8 February 2012

THE BENEFITS OF WINNING THE LOTTERY...

I imagine most of you will have read or heard by now about the couple who won £10.2 million on the lottery in 2005 and have been claiming a £500 per month disability allowance since then despite this win.  I was surprised for all of .25 of a second before coming to my senses and thinking "Who's to blame?"  Like i've said before, you can't blame people for playing the system, and in the case of disability allowance the amount paid out is not means tested.  Therefore this has to be the clearest example of means testing all benefits.  You can't have a few. It has to be all or nothing, surely.  You have to draw the line though somewhere if you have morals and i don't think Mr and Mrs O'Shea have any.  Many OAP's who received the winter heating allowance said they didn't need it and have donated it to those pensioners who really need it. Perhaps they should do the same.    Those winners who say "It won't change us, we wont stop doing our jobs."  It should change you, and you should stop doing your job and let someone who doesn't have one do it.  Also it doesn't exactly back-up the old argument:  "In my day the younger generation had more respect for their elders."  Why would anyone respect your actions and the example you're setting?  Perhaps the lottery winnings should be dependant on your circumstances and what your financial needs are.  There certainly needs to be more, smaller payouts, especially with the Euromillions.  The only suggestion i have when doing a lottery is to not pick the same numbers.  If you have the same numbers and fail to buy your ticket, what would you do if they came up that week?  I did read of a man who did this.  When he realised what had happened, he was physically sick.  Nowadays the saying "your number's up" means your life is either ending, or a new one is beginning...complete with ADDED benefits. Am i just jealous? Of course i am, i would love to win the lottery and it would change my circumstances, but i know i bloody well wouldn't claim any extra money whether i was entitled to it or not....not that i do get anything..blah blah...http://localgiving.com/survivingwinter

WHAT'S THE WHITE STUFF FALLING FROM THE SKY?

Some of the latest cars are coming equipped with sensors that can control your speed and braking systems.  Pretty cool huh? I think up to 80% of cars currently on the road have this feature already! These systems come into effect when the air temperature is around 0, and only when snow has fallen.  Unfortunately, these systems then go into shutdown and render the top speed of 20mph, no matter what the road conditions.  Either that or the snow is actually affecting some drivers brains!  Now i'm all for safe driving in all conditions, but why do some people insist on driving so slowly that they actually do more harm than good.  It causes other drivers to get more wound up and drive harder when they get the chance.  I have been travelling up a hill before now, at 40-50mph in the snow, following traffic. Before long the car at the front's "Panic-It's-Snowing-Stop" system or P.I.S.S, has cut in and we all start slowing, causing my front wheels to start to lose traction! Fortunately we reached the brow of the hill in time, and all was well again.  All we need to do is use common sense and....oh i am forgetting again, there isn't much of that about is there!  We just don't cope when it snows or gets a little cold do we?  Its been reported that Amsterdam hit -38! Our best was about -12 i think.  We worry about clearing our public paths of snow, but then we're not sure if we should have!  Are we liable if someone falls over outside where we haven't cleared enough? It's pathetic.YOU DO NOT NEED TO CLEAR THE PUBLIC PATHWAY ONLY YOUR OWN DRIVE.  In some countries you are legally obliged to clear the paths and up to half the road!  The trick is with both driving and clearing snow, be prepared.  That way we needn't panic when it comes.  Let's be honest, its not very often.  Also it seems children at school can no longer play outside during their breaks because of health and safety!  Instead they have to stay inside and watch T.V.  Get a grip Britain, use common sense and...

Friday 3 February 2012

Third time lucky for the quiz????

For the second month in a row, my friends and i congregated at the Tollemache Arms, Harrington (http://tollemacheharrington.com/) for their monthly general knowledge quiz.  We turned out on a crisp night to try and better our second place from the previous month, which had been our first attempt may i add, at this very welcoming country pub which takes its name from the Reverend Tollemache.  Six pounds a head bought us a hot supper, on this occasion a beef hotpot, and entrance to the quiz.  They had changed their tack this time with regards the food, serving it straight to us as opposed to a help-yourself style buffet from January during which they ran out.  Despite a not overly generous portion it still tasted great and we really shouldn't have expected more for the price.  A fine selection of ales was available to us before we were seated for the food and quiz.  We were into second place early on and unfortunately just couldn't close the gap on the leaders throughout the rounds, culminating in a six point deficit of our 44 points to their very impressive 50. They won a six bottle case of wine for their troubles but couldn't win the jackpot of over £100 which rolls on to next months quiz, which of course we shall be attending.  Of course there were many calls of  "I said it was that" and "I told you so" from several tables, including our own, which only added to another great evening with good beer, food and friends.  The menus read very well i shouldn't be surprised if the meals on offer are of an excellent standard.  The quiz takes place on the first Thursday of every month.  We have booked our place, which is necessary if you want to take part.  Hopefully next time it will be third time lucky for "Haven't got a clue" or "Quizzy Rascals" or whichever team name takes our fancy!

EFFING TOURETTE'S......

I read a report in the paper the other day highlighting an apparent outbreak of tourette's-like symptoms in teenagers across a region of America.  At first i read it with interest before realising this could be the latest ploy by school kids to see how far they could push the teachers!  If this is legitimate then we have had the problem in our own towns and cities since before i was born.  I base this on the fact that kids of a certain age, which seems to be getting lower and lower, are regularly littering their sentences with profanities and verbal filth.  It appears that "acceptable" types of swearing are on the increase more and more.  Possibly in the not too distant future there will be more expletives than normal language!  Either that or they are just practicing for when they are older and take up D.I.Y, like myself.  I find that the more serious outbreaks usually occur when a screw or fitting is clearly made wrong or doesn't understand that it's only role in life is to do as its told and " JUST. **CK**G. FIT!"

However, the vision i have of school kids swearing randomly and then trying to suggest to teachers they have a legitimate reason, due to the outbreak of "tourettitus" or the highly infectious "tourettes by proxy" reminded me of some of the thing SOME school children used to do to irritate teachers and avoid direct responsibility:

"The Hummm."
At first it is almost undetectable but soon it rises, spreading throughout the room until eventually the teacher believes the sound is in their own head.  Some experts in the field even perfected the technique of producing the noise from the back of the nose, thereby becoming capable of opening the mouth so it would appear impossible that they were part of this crescendo of irritating buzzing.

"The Cough."
Sometimes this would be inadvertently started by a genuine cough. After the second or third cough, many more "throat clearances" would follow.  These would range from the slight clearance of phlegm to the huge smokers-like-totally-over-the-top hack, though this was only done at huge risk by the individual risking discovery. Eventually this may have even turned into a "last cough", as in who will cough last, very similar to.......

"The Clap."
No sexual jokes here please.  This is a genuine title that many of you will recognise.  It describes the attempt to have the last clap during a round of applause and has almost no weakness.  This is because it is started genuinely (and usually by a mature adult) as an honest gesture of appreciation. The clapping generally fades out until only the most hardcore of challengers remain. It has echos of an auction by now, the odd clap coming from the few left, as if calling out a new bid, waiting nay hoping that theirs is the final coming together of now sweaty palms. I am sure i read somewhere that the greatest gap between claps was 5 minutes...

At this point i do need to make it clear that i never was part of any of the above scenarios and ....oh help...my nose appears to be growing....

A BED(room) of ROSE'S...

A BED(room) OF ROSE'S...

At last Rose's new bedroom is finished. It began with moving the boiler from the airing cupboard into the loft.  The airing cupboard then became a built-in wardrobe and some new drawers located here also. She now has a mid-sleeper style bed with plenty of room underneath, a bookcase, table and chair set and some nice shelves.  We also painted the room in marshmallow colour and fitted new curtains.  Of course it all went smoothly and according to plan.....not.

Despite good planning and preparation, the paint would not take to the walls. After speaking to Wickes, who supplied the paint, they gave us two more tins free of charge, suggesting the first batch may have been out of date? Eventually the paint built up and we were happy with the finish.  Next up we ordered the bed from Argos or should that be Aghast, which is what we were when, after a month of waiting for delivery, it arrived only for us to find a major part of it broken. Unquestionably this had been done during production, and clearly there was no quality control. Cue a "strong" phone call to Argos suggesting  they sort it out quickly.  They did so, and this time the part was good.  It went together well, with of course the occasional outbreak of tourette's from myself during the construction.  Perhaps its just me, but i often suffer from this during any form of D.I.Y!!  The bookshelf went together without a hitch.  The desk was time consuming, but with a few re-fits slotted together, despite the instructions telling me to use screws which had already been used!  If only flat-packed furniture was checked by the manufacturers against their own instructions and better quality control measures, many complaints would never happen.  The bottom line though was that we have a very happy little girl, who loves her new bedroom.