FANGS FOR THE MEMORIES....

I recently finished watching every episode of  Buffy: The Vampire Slayer....now clam down and wipe the tears of laughter from your face and let me explain why i did this:  I  have always liked Vampire movies, Lost Boys, Vamp, Fright Night, After Dark, 'Salems Lot, Interview with et.c, enjoyed the novels of  Anne Rice and even dabled a little with the role-playing game Masquerade. When Buffy and the spin off Angel came onto our screens, i enjoyed those too.  All seemed to go quiet then for a few years until the recent explosion of Vampire based series and films.  I have seen all but the most recent Twiglet, sorry Twilight films and thought they were okay but then came the Vampire Diaries.  My goodness what a load of tosh i thought. It is just jumping on the bandwagon again.  True Blood is much better, leaning a lot more towards the dark side of vampirism, fantastically enhanced by its location in the deep south, which is where the Anne Rice novels are also set and no doubt help create the atmosphere. The Blade films were fantastic, this time the soundtrack doing a brilliant job to aid the film, but also guiding the genre into the mainstream with its techno soundtrack.  Perhaps this is part of the genres undoing.  The market is now flooded more than ever with vampire based films or tv shows.  The recent remake of Fright Night is the latest example and another film "Abraham Lincoln-Vampire Hunter" is just around the corner.  I fear we may be entering a period like the late seventies/early eighties with sci-fi movies being churned out with more poor ones than epics.  Anyway, the chance presented itself to re-watch the Buffy saga, and the Angel one (but that has been put back!)and so i watched them and i will say this: It is funnier than the downbeat and somber feel of  Vampire Diaries and it is equal to the action of Twiglet.  Only one season was a bit slow and veered off (the one with the army) and the storylines were interesting for the majority.  Yes it had its sloppy moments, see Angel and towards the end Spike, but it also addressed many of the problems the human condition presents in life.  There were several moments in it which reminded me of recent effects used in more recent films such as the Matrix and overall i think if you watch it again you would enjoy it more this time than when you first watched it.  It was good then and it is better than the current crop of recent vampire efforts.  The film and t.v producers need to slow down with this genre or else the blood will become to thin and weak. My message to them would be this: "Hold back and wait until something really good is ready to be made." B positive...couldn't resist that one.

FRIGHT NIGHT.....

The stars of the production of the re-make of Fright Night are Jo Edna Boldin and Allison Jones.  Who?  They are the people who were in charge of casting and consequently were responsible for enabling Colin Farrell (lots of films all very good) and Anton Yelchin (Chekov in the recent Star Trek re-boot and Kyle Reese in Terminator:Salvation), to help combat, in my eyes, the handicap of being a re-make.  Together with Toni Collette who, like many others, i first saw in the excellent Muriel's Wedding, they do a good job to modernise what i think is one of the best 80's horrors.  Unfortunately whenever i watch a re-make i naturally compare it to the original. I say unfortunately because it seems that most re-makes seem to be based on films which the originals are my favourites, this one included.  There are several gaping holes which could have been smoothed over (no one seems particularly bothered that an increasing number of students are missing from the school) and a slightly more in depth explanation of why many of the residents of the small town have blacked out windows( a large contingent of the towns workforce work night-shifts).  It has a few good "jumpy" moments, preceded of course by the usual absence of music and the effects are very good.  David Tennant is good also as Peter Vincent the self proclaimed vampire killer and Vegas magician ( and i thought Russell Brand look-a-like)who is also the character with the "Bad guys did something to a relation" card.  I did enjoy it, but wouldn't have gone to the cinema for it. To be honest , if there wasn't the current vampire based movie/tv show bandwagon rolling along at full pelt, i don't think this film would have been made.  If you're unsure what to watch when you're perusing the choices in Blockbusters or your local dvd rental emporium, then try this. You could do worse but if you enjoyed the original don't expect an improvement. It really just is a pure up-date and nothing more. It filled an evening for me and fueled the fire in me that is an increasing annoyance of re-boots...with certain exceptions.......enjoy.

THE BENEFITS OF WINNING THE LOTTERY...

I imagine most of you will have read or heard by now about the couple who won £10.2 million on the lottery in 2005 and have been claiming a £500 per month disability allowance since then despite this win.  I was surprised for all of .25 of a second before coming to my senses and thinking "Who's to blame?"  Like i've said before, you can't blame people for playing the system, and in the case of disability allowance the amount paid out is not means tested.  Therefore this has to be the clearest example of means testing all benefits.  You can't have a few. It has to be all or nothing, surely.  You have to draw the line though somewhere if you have morals and i don't think Mr and Mrs O'Shea have any.  Many OAP's who received the winter heating allowance said they didn't need it and have donated it to those pensioners who really need it. Perhaps they should do the same.    Those winners who say "It won't change us, we wont stop doing our jobs."  It should change you, and you should stop doing your job and let someone who doesn't have one do it.  Also it doesn't exactly back-up the old argument:  "In my day the younger generation had more respect for their elders."  Why would anyone respect your actions and the example you're setting?  Perhaps the lottery winnings should be dependant on your circumstances and what your financial needs are.  There certainly needs to be more, smaller payouts, especially with the Euromillions.  The only suggestion i have when doing a lottery is to not pick the same numbers.  If you have the same numbers and fail to buy your ticket, what would you do if they came up that week?  I did read of a man who did this.  When he realised what had happened, he was physically sick.  Nowadays the saying "your number's up" means your life is either ending, or a new one is beginning...complete with ADDED benefits. Am i just jealous? Of course i am, i would love to win the lottery and it would change my circumstances, but i know i bloody well wouldn't claim any extra money whether i was entitled to it or not....not that i do get anything..blah blah...http://localgiving.com/survivingwinter

WHAT'S THE WHITE STUFF FALLING FROM THE SKY?

Some of the latest cars are coming equipped with sensors that can control your speed and braking systems.  Pretty cool huh? I think up to 80% of cars currently on the road have this feature already! These systems come into effect when the air temperature is around 0, and only when snow has fallen.  Unfortunately, these systems then go into shutdown and render the top speed of 20mph, no matter what the road conditions.  Either that or the snow is actually affecting some drivers brains!  Now i'm all for safe driving in all conditions, but why do some people insist on driving so slowly that they actually do more harm than good.  It causes other drivers to get more wound up and drive harder when they get the chance.  I have been travelling up a hill before now, at 40-50mph in the snow, following traffic. Before long the car at the front's "Panic-It's-Snowing-Stop" system or P.I.S.S, has cut in and we all start slowing, causing my front wheels to start to lose traction! Fortunately we reached the brow of the hill in time, and all was well again.  All we need to do is use common sense and....oh i am forgetting again, there isn't much of that about is there!  We just don't cope when it snows or gets a little cold do we?  Its been reported that Amsterdam hit -38! Our best was about -12 i think.  We worry about clearing our public paths of snow, but then we're not sure if we should have!  Are we liable if someone falls over outside where we haven't cleared enough? It's pathetic.YOU DO NOT NEED TO CLEAR THE PUBLIC PATHWAY ONLY YOUR OWN DRIVE.  In some countries you are legally obliged to clear the paths and up to half the road!  The trick is with both driving and clearing snow, be prepared.  That way we needn't panic when it comes.  Let's be honest, its not very often.  Also it seems children at school can no longer play outside during their breaks because of health and safety!  Instead they have to stay inside and watch T.V.  Get a grip Britain, use common sense and...

Third time lucky for the quiz????

For the second month in a row, my friends and i congregated at the Tollemache Arms, Harrington (http://tollemacheharrington.com/) for their monthly general knowledge quiz.  We turned out on a crisp night to try and better our second place from the previous month, which had been our first attempt may i add, at this very welcoming country pub which takes its name from the Reverend Tollemache.  Six pounds a head bought us a hot supper, on this occasion a beef hotpot, and entrance to the quiz.  They had changed their tack this time with regards the food, serving it straight to us as opposed to a help-yourself style buffet from January during which they ran out.  Despite a not overly generous portion it still tasted great and we really shouldn't have expected more for the price.  A fine selection of ales was available to us before we were seated for the food and quiz.  We were into second place early on and unfortunately just couldn't close the gap on the leaders throughout the rounds, culminating in a six point deficit of our 44 points to their very impressive 50. They won a six bottle case of wine for their troubles but couldn't win the jackpot of over £100 which rolls on to next months quiz, which of course we shall be attending.  Of course there were many calls of  "I said it was that" and "I told you so" from several tables, including our own, which only added to another great evening with good beer, food and friends.  The menus read very well i shouldn't be surprised if the meals on offer are of an excellent standard.  The quiz takes place on the first Thursday of every month.  We have booked our place, which is necessary if you want to take part.  Hopefully next time it will be third time lucky for "Haven't got a clue" or "Quizzy Rascals" or whichever team name takes our fancy!

EFFING TOURETTE'S......

I read a report in the paper the other day highlighting an apparent outbreak of tourette's-like symptoms in teenagers across a region of America.  At first i read it with interest before realising this could be the latest ploy by school kids to see how far they could push the teachers!  If this is legitimate then we have had the problem in our own towns and cities since before i was born.  I base this on the fact that kids of a certain age, which seems to be getting lower and lower, are regularly littering their sentences with profanities and verbal filth.  It appears that "acceptable" types of swearing are on the increase more and more.  Possibly in the not too distant future there will be more expletives than normal language!  Either that or they are just practicing for when they are older and take up D.I.Y, like myself.  I find that the more serious outbreaks usually occur when a screw or fitting is clearly made wrong or doesn't understand that it's only role in life is to do as its told and " JUST. **CK**G. FIT!"

However, the vision i have of school kids swearing randomly and then trying to suggest to teachers they have a legitimate reason, due to the outbreak of "tourettitus" or the highly infectious "tourettes by proxy" reminded me of some of the thing SOME school children used to do to irritate teachers and avoid direct responsibility:

"The Hummm."
At first it is almost undetectable but soon it rises, spreading throughout the room until eventually the teacher believes the sound is in their own head.  Some experts in the field even perfected the technique of producing the noise from the back of the nose, thereby becoming capable of opening the mouth so it would appear impossible that they were part of this crescendo of irritating buzzing.

"The Cough."
Sometimes this would be inadvertently started by a genuine cough. After the second or third cough, many more "throat clearances" would follow.  These would range from the slight clearance of phlegm to the huge smokers-like-totally-over-the-top hack, though this was only done at huge risk by the individual risking discovery. Eventually this may have even turned into a "last cough", as in who will cough last, very similar to.......

"The Clap."
No sexual jokes here please.  This is a genuine title that many of you will recognise.  It describes the attempt to have the last clap during a round of applause and has almost no weakness.  This is because it is started genuinely (and usually by a mature adult) as an honest gesture of appreciation. The clapping generally fades out until only the most hardcore of challengers remain. It has echos of an auction by now, the odd clap coming from the few left, as if calling out a new bid, waiting nay hoping that theirs is the final coming together of now sweaty palms. I am sure i read somewhere that the greatest gap between claps was 5 minutes...

At this point i do need to make it clear that i never was part of any of the above scenarios and ....oh help...my nose appears to be growing....

A BED(room) of ROSE'S...

A BED(room) OF ROSE'S...

At last Rose's new bedroom is finished. It began with moving the boiler from the airing cupboard into the loft.  The airing cupboard then became a built-in wardrobe and some new drawers located here also. She now has a mid-sleeper style bed with plenty of room underneath, a bookcase, table and chair set and some nice shelves.  We also painted the room in marshmallow colour and fitted new curtains.  Of course it all went smoothly and according to plan.....not.

Despite good planning and preparation, the paint would not take to the walls. After speaking to Wickes, who supplied the paint, they gave us two more tins free of charge, suggesting the first batch may have been out of date? Eventually the paint built up and we were happy with the finish.  Next up we ordered the bed from Argos or should that be Aghast, which is what we were when, after a month of waiting for delivery, it arrived only for us to find a major part of it broken. Unquestionably this had been done during production, and clearly there was no quality control. Cue a "strong" phone call to Argos suggesting  they sort it out quickly.  They did so, and this time the part was good.  It went together well, with of course the occasional outbreak of tourette's from myself during the construction.  Perhaps its just me, but i often suffer from this during any form of D.I.Y!!  The bookshelf went together without a hitch.  The desk was time consuming, but with a few re-fits slotted together, despite the instructions telling me to use screws which had already been used!  If only flat-packed furniture was checked by the manufacturers against their own instructions and better quality control measures, many complaints would never happen.  The bottom line though was that we have a very happy little girl, who loves her new bedroom.